jake gave me this flower today. he thinks I am beautiful, and he wants to marry me. He also thinks the lady in the opening credits of the movies and the statue of liberty are me. i think i need to borrow his view for a few. the self loathing is really just too.much.to.take. it was raging today. thank goodness i can call richie when this gets out of control. i am only writing this boring post, because i am in true amazement of how poorly i talk to myself. i would NEVER even think about speaking to another individual the way i speak to myself. such disrespect, over-criticism, and just downright mean. not okay. in typical april-fashion i went to the bookstore to buy a book to solve it..."optimal thinking". i'll let you know how that works out for me. anyway - i'll try to look at me from jake's point of view in the mean time.
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